Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
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