try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
Randomize
