the new term for farting is butt boxing.
She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
