I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
I have demons in me.
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize
