I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
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