I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
