He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
two words: eviction party
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
