No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Randomize
