Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
Randomize
