There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
