I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
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