I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
Who wears a wallet chain?!
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
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