i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
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