I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
