How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
Randomize
