Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
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