Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
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