we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
Randomize
