yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Randomize
