Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Randomize
