hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
