WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
Randomize
