I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
Randomize
