a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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