i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
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