Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Randomize
