Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
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