we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
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