Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Randomize
