The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
