we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
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