i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
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