if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
Randomize
