I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
Randomize
