It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
Randomize
