You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
We're not piercing ourselves today.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
Randomize
