Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
Randomize
