I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
