This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
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