Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
Randomize
