Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
Randomize
