Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
Btw I puked in your glovebox
Randomize
