I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
Randomize
