did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
