uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
