Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Randomize
