If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
Randomize
