I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
You're a waste of cheezeits
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
