Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
