Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
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