this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
