Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
