you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
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