yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize
