i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
